This is a subject that pops up in my inbox time and time again. Until now, I must admit, the thought of writing a blog like this felt rather embarrassing. Family, friends and maybe my ex might read this, so I didn’t know if this was too personal of a subject.
Approaching my 30th birthday, I thought, why not,
I talk to jaw patients about this all the time.
After surgery the thought of anyone coming anywhere near my
head, let alone my lips, would send me into an anxious fit. Even my mum kissing
my forehead scared the life out of me. I was numb from the eye socket down. I
remember stroking my eyebrows as this was one of the only things I could feel.
This gave me a sense of comfort and made me feel like it would be ok.
It was months before my nerves started to wake up and I am
still COMPLETELY numb on both side of my bottom lip, chin and gums. People
message me panicked all the time; “What if I am numb, can I kiss my boyfriend/
girlfriend?” The answer is, I can and so can you. Yes it is different because
you don’t really know what your bottom lip is doing, but as long as your tongue
isn’t numb and you can feel your top lip you will manage just fine.
About your lips
For your lips to move and work efficiently, a complex system
of muscles and other structures is required. The lips are made up of an upper
lip and a lower lip, which are connected and form the transition point between
the skin on the face and the lining of the mouth.
It is the flexibility of the lips that allows for people to
express different emotions. This is due to the muscular structure responsible
for controlling the lips, which allows great freedom of movement and is
interconnected with the rest of the muscles on the face. It is because of these
lip muscles that movements like whistling and kissing are possible.
After the surgery
After the surgery your nerves and muscles will be stretched
and damaged. They have suffered great trauma. They may be swollen, painful and
numb. This may cause dribbling, drooping and the swelling can make your face
feel hot.
Over the course of a few months, your nerves will recover or
wake up. You may experience itching and shooting pains as they start to
rejuvenate. It is important to note it can take up to 18 months to 2 years for
your nerves to fully recover.
The nerves that are damaged, stretched, broken or dead may
never recover, but the helpful part is, all those muscles connected to the lips
will still work. Once the swelling has subsided and the muscles have recovered,
they will serve your new face, just as well as they did before. This means that
you will still be able to talk, eat and kiss without having a drooping or
dribbling mouth.
How long before I can kiss my partner?
It really does depend on your recovery. I would say no
sooner than 2 weeks. You need to be careful. Nothing too passionate. Your face
is broken in several places, remember!
On top of the broken bones, you also have swelling and pain.
You need to ask yourself, how do you feel? Are you in pain? How confident would
you feel about your partner touching your face? If the answer is, no or hardly
any pain, you are confident and you are a few weeks post surgery, go for it,
but be careful. Even if it feels ok at the time, you may find your jaw plays up
a lot after. There are a lot of muscles involved in kissing. Muscles that have
gone through a lot of trauma and need to recover. I didn’t kiss my partner for
2 months after surgery. It wasn’t nice, but I couldn’t have anyone near my
face. When we did kiss, it was little pecks. I had to learn how to do
everything again. Talk, kiss, chew etc. It was like being a teenager again,
having my first kiss. How should I move my mouth, what should I do, am I
dribbling? It was pretty stressful. My boyfriend at the time was very
understanding so that was nice.
Does it feel different?
Once I had recovered, my bones had healed, my nerves were
mostly awake and working fine, things became a little more “normal”. My muscles
still hurt and my bottom lip, chin and gums are still numb. If my partner and I
had a “make out” session it would hurt quite a lot afterwards. Not so much at
the time, I am sure it was something to do with the endorphins that meant I felt
less pain. But afterwards, it would hurt quite a lot. We split up 10 months
after my original surgery. I had gone through a lot and was still recovering.
Dealing with pain, infections and learning to live with my new face and he had
fallen out of love with me and just didn’t think to finish it. I was single for
a long long time after that. When I got into a relationship again, almost 2
years later, it was all new again. Even now, if I haven’t kissed for a while, I
need to teach myself how to do it again. What way do my muscles have to move
and where is my bottom lip in relation to the other person’s? While it is not
ideal, I can still do it and I am LUCKY because my nerves are completely dead.
I know some people who can’t kiss their partner’s because it hurts. I am used
to eating and drinking now and no one else watching would ever know my lip was
numb. I am sure my kissing technique has suffered, but there are worst things
in life, right?
Be kind to yourself, don’t rush yourself and do what feels
comfortable. Be patient with your recovery. I really do hope you have an
understanding partner who won’t pressurise you or rush you into it.
If you would like to read more about numbness, check out my
blog https://steffies-orthognathic-surgery.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/numbness-after-jaw-surgery-orthognathic.html
You can now continue the chat and speak with other patients on my new closed Facebook group:
Looking forward to connecting with you soon!
Lots of love always,
Steffie
x.x.x
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